February 2012
1 post
Yep, I’m still an emotionless robot. But on a positive note, I can sleep 3 hours, pop an Adderall or two and feel no ill effects.
January 2012
4 posts
Still hardcore on my vegan diet with only one mistake - I forgot to read the ingredients on Sun Chips. Lesson learned.
This weekend, I tried only having a single 20mg Adderall and I ate a lot less than I usually would if I wasn’t on it. I’m on the usual 40mg dose today, so it’ll be interesting to see what my dietary habits are like today.
The grand diet experiment
Thanks to watching a documentary entitled Forks Over Knives, I’ve decided to try out being vegan for a while. I’ve done the vegetarian thing for so long that it just makes sense to try and cut out all animal products, however painful it is going to be. For me, though, this is just an experiment as I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to maintain this diet, so please wish me...
No Adderall today. I’m experiencing some of the side effects: occasional headaches, insomnia and dry mouth.
I’m working on my side project and I’m trying to get a tech VIP interested. I’ve affectionately termed the project “friends with files”. Without giving anything away, I’ll just say it’s a business that’s been done before but presented...
December 2011
2 posts
I think Adderall is turning me into an aggressive robot.
Metrics & Adderall
On the advice of a friend, I decided to visit a psychiatrist to see if I possibly have ADD. Long story short: after my tests and some observance, my psychiatrist said my ADD is “off the charts”. Consequently, I am now hopped on Adderall: I take two - 40mg extended release capsules each morning.
The results: 1. My mood has increased, eg: I’m happier and more outgoing. I...
November 2011
2 posts
so weak
No Crossfit in almost a year = weak me. :-(
October 2011
5 posts
And it happened again
Damn these dreams. Another dream where I cried and woke up crying. This time, it wasn’t rappers, but instead it was a war scene, with a large group of people attempting to kill a single enemy. There was a lull in the violence and the lone enemy approached the soldiers, apologized to them and then started to cry uncontrollably. I did the same thing - just cried in my dreams and woke up...
Saying goodbye, my dawg
I had the weirdest, most random dream last night. For some reason, I had a dream that Dr. Dre and Ice Cube met with the AIDS stricken Eazy-E on his death bed to say good bye and make their peace with him since they were enemies post NWA. In my dream, I got to watch them say good bye and in my dream, and perhaps in real life, I cried and really hard. I’m not sure what inspired me to dream...
The SF ethics conundrum
So many people in SF that I meet are so liberal and concerned about the well being of others, their meat being humane, their coffee being Fair Trade, their clothes not being produced ethically. At the same time, they aren’t concerned about how their electronics are made and by whom. Apple is one of the worst companies when it comes to ethically created consumer electronics, yet people in...
The pursuit of poverty
Do what you love, pursue your passion and happiness will follow. What if my passion and what I love is trying to find out what I love? What if my real passion is just exploring different worlds and understanding new concepts? Is there money in just exploring and thinking? It doesn’t seem like it.
A meal and a stock investment
How do you view a relationship? I debate relationship concepts with my roommate constantly. He is firmly in the camp that believes that all relationships should be like a stock investment: put your money and time into something with long term return on investment that will last as long as possible. And while I agree that the stock investment relationship is ultimately the goal, I think there is...
September 2011
7 posts
Giants fans are "defacing" my neighborhood. ... →
Happiness and bravado
I never really knew how bad my last relationship was until I was out of it. Typically, I go through the standard mourning period where I lament the loss of the relationship, but instead, I felt a general sigh of relief and I’m ultimately a happier person. Bad, bad fit.
Now to work up the courage to ask out Melanie and not be embarrassed if she turns me down so I can show up to Beretta...
Perspective
After I returned from Burning Man, I had issues acclimating to work and all it’s endless, stress inducing demands. What I did know is that I had an amazing time partying with friends and I didn’t want it to stop, so at times, I contemplated quitting my job, getting something that paid enough to get by and basically trying to live the fun, festive party lifestyle.
Tonight, I visited...
Perfection
When pair bonding, we’re not looking for perfection, we’re looking for someone who has imperfections we can tolerate and even appreciate.
Lamenting the return to reality
So really, here’s the problem: working is really a ton of stress and not necessarily a “fun” thing to do and we’re all fighting hard to get our brain reward system firing usually by consuming, be it food, sex or acquisition of items (clothes, electronics, etc.) to give us short term happiness. But according to a great study I’ve recently read, what really gives us...
I have returned!
I just got back on early Sunday morning from Burning Man in Blackrock City, Nevada at 3am and the drive was nothing short of painfully tiring. This years BM was different for me in many respects from the first one I went to last year as I felt like I knew what to expect this time out and because of this, I recorded a lot more, explored more, took more pictures and was more open to chatting...
August 2011
2 posts
Cleansed for the sake of sanity
I went to see what was supposed to be a documentary on Neil Young tonight. It was supposed to be a pre-release of sorts that hasn’t been seen by anyone just yet, except Neil Young - not even by the executive producer of the film.
What the film purportedly was and what it actually was were two different things. First and foremost, it wasn’t a documentary by any means. Having the...
Ninja powahz!
Seriously, I should promote myself to web ninja elite first class! Using my creative powers, I’ve found the mysterious woman I’ve been looking for high and low but to no avail until today. How, you ask? Ohhh such a great question! Easy! Using relationships, names and keywords and moreover, knowing where to look. I guessed that this was the right technique after reading some...
May 2011
1 post
April 2011
3 posts
March 2011
3 posts
January 2011
2 posts
brain reward system
I’ve been reading articles and watching documentaries on the brain reward system and it seems that it alone is what keeps us going. Fuck with the reward system, mess up dopamine and seratonin levels and you’re basically done with a happy existence. Yeah, I’m looking at you meth and coke users.
There’s lots more to read about drugs and their impact on brain reward here:...
My friend Craig said to me once “No girl under 25 is ever going to understand you”. I don’t think its age that’s the issue, but intellect.